Oh, man. Rob Gronkowski. Gronk. I didn’t get up this morning pondering I’d have to reckon with a person I’ve fought so laborious to extinguish from my thoughts, however right here we’re.
Robert James Gronkowski, former New England Patriots tight finish, whose fourth grade AIM username was chickmagnet4life, whose drink of selection is vodka and water (hydrated and drunk at the similar time… get it?), self-declared shark skilled, a person who as soon as known as a member of The Queen’s Guard “that little nutcracker dude,” may be a part of the WWE.
According to a report by FS1’s WWE Backstage program, Gronkowski is “deep in talks” to be a part of the wrestling league, probably showing as quickly as late March. This isn’t a complete shock—he jumped in the ring again in 2017 as a part of Wrestlemania 33, tag-teaming together with his buddy Mojo Hawley to give the enterprise to Jinder Mahal. He’s additionally expressed curiosity in working with the WWE at a number of factors all through and after his NFL profession (he retired in March 2019, citing accidents and psychological fatigue).
“At one time I needed to be a WWE wrestler,” he mentioned. “I nonetheless do. I need to go in the ring as soon as and fiddle and leap off the ropes and do a Stone Cold stunner.”
I don’t watch the WWE. And I don’t actually know something about it. I perceive that it’s not actual wrestling—extra like theater carried out by insanely athletic and jacked people—however followers will get pissed in case you say that. But I did watch Gronk when he was with the Pats.
I rooted towards him. It’s straightforward to! Fun, even. Rooting towards Gronk, probably the loudest, most over-the-top, love-him-or-hate-him NFL participant we’ve had this century, is like roasting the drunkest-looking bro at a bar. And for that motive, I’ll be watching the WWE for the first time when he fits up—as a result of rooting towards Gronk, for me at the least, is simply as enjoyable as cheering for an athlete I really like.
Hey. It’s identical to Gronk wrote in his seminal autobiography, It’s Good to Be Gronk.
“When the girls see us dancing, they try to keep up and hang with us, but they can’t. We dance so fast, so hard, they can’t resist the challenge of partying like we do. Nothing gets girls more ready to party than dancing.”